Thank You Mistress

i wanted to use todays blog to say thank You Mistress. For being here for me. It does not even feel like we are miles and miles apart. You are always in my heart. And i always feel You with me wherever i go. You have helped me and are helping me get through these rough times, without judging things that happened to me, or that i have done to myself in the past. i have fought the urges to cut mainly because i do not want You to be disappointed in me. And i know if i do it, especially without permission, You would be. That is the worst feeling ever. i am working on becoming the slave i was. And i wanted to thank You for helping me through this. Helping me succeed and to better myself. my head is still a complete mess, and i do feel like i have been broken and not built back up. But i feel safe in Your hands, that You will guide and lead me in the right directions. i did have another talk with Rachel last night and i told her that i have no fight left in me. So if she wants to save the marriage it is on her. And her actions will tell if she can do it. She finally admitted to being one-sided for way to long and for letting things get out of hand. i told her she may not be the Dominant anymore in the relationship, but she was. And she should have set the limits and knew when enough was enough. So only time will tell with that. i can not try any harder then what i have done. And i need to focus on You and building myself back up. So the ball is in her court now. Or however that saying goes. Lol. Anyway...Thank You so very much my Mistress, for everything. And especially for not giving up on me. i feel Your love and i see that You care deeply for me. And that alone makes me feel special. i love You Mistress.